Insult Jokes

1- Bhagwan teri umar lambi kare!
bhagwan tujhe nokri de!
bhagwan tujhe khush rakhe!
bhagwan tujhe barkat de!
yaad ho gaya???? to chal katora utha aur shooru
ho ja.

2- Customer: waiter aisi chai pilao

jisko pee kar tan man jhum
uthe aur badan nachne lage.
Waiter: sir humare yaha bhens
ka dudh aata hai, NAGIN ka
nahi…

3- Main Bevkuf!

Main Bevkuf!
Main Bevkuf!
Main Bevkuf!
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Aahista Bolo
Aawaj Yaha Tak Aa Rhi Hai.
Ab Ho To Ho
Sbko Btana Jruri Hai Kya.

4-  Bhikari Car Me Bethi Madam Se:

Madam, 10Rs De Do.
Madam: Ye Lo! Bhikari Jane
Laga.
Madam: Arey DUA to Do
Bhikari: Car Me To Bethi Ho,
Ab Kya road Pe Bethogi?

5- Dhoni’s MOTHER:

Market se sabji le
aa..
Dhoni: Par Maa
match haar gaye
na, Toh log bahut gusse me hain! Mother: Meri sari
pehnkar jao,
Koi nhi
pehchanega.
Dhoni goes 2
mrket wearing sari. 1GIRL: Hi, Dhoni
hw r u?
Dhoni get shocked:
Apko kaise pata
chala? GIRL: Abbe! Mai
Yuvraj Singh hu.

6- INSULT 

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Boyfriend : Please Keep Me In Your Brain, Not In Your Heart..;)
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Girlfriend : How Funny, Why Not Heart..??
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Boyfriend : Because
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Your Heart Is Housefull And Brain Is Empty,
More Empty Space Means More Comfort

7- In Jail:

Sanjay Dutt ” Jailer saab, muje fir se Bapu dikh rela hai”
Jailer “Kidhar”
Dutt “Wo udhar dhoti me”
Jailer “Abe Asaram hai wo”

8- Boy: Hello, Pammi darling… kaisi ho?

Girl: Who’s this?
Boy: Tera aashiq hun; jaaneman !!
Girl: Tu Bunty hai na.
Boy: Yes; but how do you know ?
Girl: Tu Bansilal ka beta hai na.
Boy: Yes but how you know me??
Girl: Tu Ramlal ka pota hai na…..
Boy: Yes !! but jaanu, tumhe ye sab kaise pata?
Girl: Bunty Haramkhor; kutte, mai teri Maa hun!!
Tune ‘Pummi’ ko nahi, ‘Mummi’ ko phone lagaya hai!!

9- Classic insult..

Girl: Meri 1-1 saans pe 1-1 ladke marte hai..

Boy: To tum koi accha sa toothpaste istimaal kyo nahi karti..??

10- Auto driver ki seat ke piche

Bahut mast lines likhi thi, couples ke liye-
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.Message:

Unka chehara dekh ke bola aina,

wah..wa

Unka chehara dekh ke bola aina,

This fairness cream is made in china!

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Bharat ki Sanskriti me sab kuch bikta hai,

Izzat se baithe
Aaine me sab kuch dikhta hai.!! 

11- Frustrated Rajnikant:
“Kuch to
Rehem karo kamino ..!..Ab Ye
Kisne Likha Ki Rajni Jab Chawal Khata
Hai..To Uske bum Se Idli Nikalti
Hai..

12- Teacher: “Kids,what does the chicken give you?”

Student: “Meat!”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
Student: “Bacon!”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
Student: “Homework!”

13- A little boy was in a taxi eating a chocolate, then he took another one and then another …

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A man next to him said “Do you know that too much of it will damage your teeth”
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The boy replied, “my grandfather lived for 132 years”
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The man asked ” was it because of eating chocolate ?”
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The boy replied, “No, he was always minding his own business” ……….

14- This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat,

keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,
20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

15- When you Feel Sad….To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, “Damn I am really so cute” you will overcome your sadness. But don’t make this a habit….. Because liars go to hell

16- Style of break up:

Boy bought gift for His Girl friend-
Girl Friend: What the hell would I do with this rocket?
Boy: You wanted stars ….. !
Now sit on it and GET LOST

Engineer Jokes

A beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other. What is the question ???
* So, Which Platform are you Working on ???….

2- nterviewer: To bataiye PANI ke bina insan kese marega?
Kaalu: Sir, PANI Nahi hoga to insaan tairega kaise?
Tairega nai to doob jayega!! Then he’ll dead…

3- A Software Engg was smoking

Girl: Didn’t u see the warning ?
Smoking is injurious to health.
Engineer: We bother only about errors & not warnings.

4- English Sir- Pappu you are late..!

Pappu- Sir meri car…
Sir- Pappu speak in English,
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Pappu- My car was fussing in the
kichad,
No hilling,
No dolling,
Only po po karing…

5- Engineer to rikshawala : Are o

bhai khali
ho kya??????
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. Rikshawala: Haan bilkul khali
hoon
sahab….
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Engineer : Aao Chalo Phir
Taash khelte hain…. 

5- Ek ladka fail hua to uske papa ne kaha-

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Dekh – dekh us ladki ko dekh wo
Tumhare sath padhti hai,
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1st aayi hai.
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Boy- Dekh – dekh kya dekh??
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Usi ko dekh – dekh ke to fail hua hu..

6- Engineering Is like a….

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typical Indian public toilet
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People outside r desperate to go in &
people inside r dying to finish n come out……!!

7- 10 Doctors, 5 Engineers aur 1 Teacher helicopter ki rassi pe latke hue the.

Pilot – Weight zyadaa hai, 1 Aadmi ko rassi choddni padegi!

Teacher – “Ye Qurbani hum denge kyunki hum teacher hain! Bajao taaliyaan!”

Sabhi Doctors aur Engineers taaliyaan bajaane lage!

Weight khud hi kam ho gaya!

MORAL: Doctor, bano ya Engineer, GURU toh aakhir GURU hi hota hai.

8- Bhikhari: Bhagwan k naam pe kuch de de.

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ENGINEER : Ye le meri B.tech ki degree rakh le.

Bikhari: Tujhe chahiye to meri M.tech ki degree rakh le …

9- Bhikari: Bhagwan ke naam pe kuch de de.

Engineer: Ye le meri B.Tech ki degree rakh le.

Bhikari: Tujhe chahiye to meri M.Tech ki rakh le.

10- A doctor is talking to a car engineer, “Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care.”

“Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn’t changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month.”

11- Once an engineer was driving in a ranch and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.

“Oh, about $200 today,” said the redneck. “But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I’m out.”

Engineer sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the redneck.

“Here,” he said, “is the check for $900. It’s postdated six years from now.”

12- There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.

Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines.

They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.

The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small “x” in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, “This is where your problem is.” The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.

The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service.

They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly:

“One chalk mark $1. Knowing where to put it $49,999″

13- It all makes sense now…

Dilbert’s “Salary Theorem” states that “Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives, sales people, accountants and especially liberal arts majors.” This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two well known postulates:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time.

Since: Knowledge = Power,
then Knowledge = Work / Time,
and Time = Money,
then Knowledge = Work / Money.

Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

14- A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly

slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!”

The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!”

The pastor said, “Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him.”

“Hi George. Say, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”

The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes, that’s a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”

The doctor said, “Good idea. And I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”

The engineer said, “Why can’t these guys play at night?”

15- Normal people believe that if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.

Engineers believe that if it isn’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.

16- An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for and enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, “I like both.”

“Both?”

Engineer: “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.”

17- A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says, “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”

“You must be an engineer,” says the balloonist.

“I am,” replies the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s of no use to anyone.”

The man below says, “You must be in management.”

“I am,” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

18- At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward question to answer:

“If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?”

Among the ensuing forest of raised hands only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay aboard. He said, if our team is the software coder for the program then we all are safe as it is unlikely that it will even reach the runaway

Bussiness Jokes

1- An Airline Introduced

A Special Package For Business Men.
Buy your Ticket Get your Wife’s Ticket Free
After Great Success….,
The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives
Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply…

“Which Trip?”

2- Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy.

Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV:

“Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package.”

3-  A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.

“I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

“The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.”

“And that’s how you built an empire?” the boy asked.

“Heavens, no!” the man replied. “Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”

4- Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.

Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!”.

“Really?” he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store.

A clerk answers and Tom says “Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?”

The clerk replies “Canned or frozen?”

5- A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters’ place.

They put up a big bold sign which read:

“WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!”

Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign:

“WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS”

6- An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building.

“Your workers, they’re escaping!” cries the visitor. “You’ve got to stop them.”

“Don’t worry, they’ll be back,” says the American. And indeed, at exactly one o’clock the whistle blows again, and all the workers return from their break.

When the tour is over, the manufacturer turns to his guest and says, “Well, now, which of these machines would you like to order?”

“Forget the machines,” says the visitor. “How much do you want for that whistle?”

7- Rossi was the manager of an upscale men’s wear store in a wealthy section of town and was interviewing Abe for the recently advertised salesman role.

Rossi looks at Abe’s resume and notices that Abe has never worked in retail before.

Rossi says to Abe, “What chutzpah, if you don’t mind me saying. For someone with no retail experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary.”

“Well I suppose I am,” Abe replies, “but you must understand that the work is so much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing.”

8- A grocer put up a sign that read “Eggplants, 25¢ each — three for a dollar.”

All day long, customers came in exclaiming:
“Don’t be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!”

Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, “Aren’t you going to fix the mistake on your sign?”

“What mistake?” the grocer asked. “Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant.”

9- I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, “The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,

7 days a week.”

He responded, “Is that Eastern or Pacific time?”

Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, “Uh, Pacific.”

10- The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.

“What’s the matter?” grumbled the boss. “Haven’t you got a sense of humor?”

“I don’t have to laugh,” she replied. “I’m leaving Friday.”

Desi Jokes

1- Ek kadvaa sach 

Behan ki friend behan ho sakti hai,

Bhai ka friend Bhai ho sakta hai,

lekin wife ki friend wife nahi ban sakti….

2- Autowaala: sorry sir, meter daalna bhool gaya.

Hari : problem nahi hai. main bhi apna purse bhool aaya. chodo

3-

Ramu: Sir, mere ghar mein TV chodke baaki sabki chori hogayi hai?

Police: chor ne sirf TV kisliye chodaa hoga?

Ramu: mujhe kya pataa sir? main us samay TV mein serial dekh rahaa thaa

4- Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karna hai.

Saab ki girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.

Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa

5- Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo.

Patient: teek hai doctor
(ek hafte ke baad)
Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya?
Patient: nahi doctor.
Doctor: kyu nahi?
Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe

6- Teacher: OXFORD matlab kya hai?

Student: OX matlab bail, FORD matlab Gaadi. to OXFORD matlab bail gaadi

7- Boyfriend: I need to tell you a secret that I haven’t told you so far: I a seeing a psychiatrist.

Girlfriend: Oh! I need to tell you a truth too. I am seeing a psychiatrist, plumber and a mechanic.

8- A gift for girlfriend

Man 1: I want to buy a gift for my girlfriend for her birthday but I don’t know what she would like. Give me a suggestion.
Man 2: Does she like you?
Man 1: Yes
Man 2: Then she would like anything.

9- Boyfriend: Can we have a battle of intelligence between us?

Girlfriend: No thanks, I don’t fight an unarmed person.

10- Boyfriend: How do I play the guitar?

Girlfriend: You should be on TV for your talent.
Boyfriend: Am I so good?
Boyfriend: If you were on TV, I can atleast switch it off.

11- Boyfriend: For the last time I am telling you that I didn’t come here to get insulted.

Girlfriend: Then where else do you usually go?

12- If U Want 2 protect Ur Face From Dust,Mud,sun light & Such..frown emoticon

Then apply
:
:
:
“ASIAN PAINTS” Exterior Emulsion
7yrs guarantee

13- Ek Bachha Road Pe Kutte Ko Le

Jaa Raha Tha.

Ek Police Waala Hasste Hue:

Beta, Apne Bhaai Ko Kahaan Le
Ja Rahe Ho?

Bachha: Police Mai Bharti
Karwaane….

14 - Father: Lagta hai chhat tapak rahi hai.

Son: chhat nahi, chhat se paani tapak raha hai. Chhat tapaki hoti to hum sab tapak gye hote…. :p 

15- Tujse naraz nahi Zindgi hairan hu

me, . . . . .
WAH WAH.

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.Tujse naraz nahi Zindgi hairan hu
me

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Koi naya Status nahi mil raha
bahut pareshan hu ma

15- Boyfriend ek aisi cheez hai

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Jis ke samne chipkali, cockroach se
darne wali ladki bhi sherni ban k ghumti hai…

16- Girl:- main kisi aur se shadi kar rahi hun, mujhe bhul jao. . !

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Boy:-
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Na tere aane ki khushi, na tere jaane ka gham, dusri patayenge tu jaa behen aaj se tera qissa khatam..

17- She : whats ur name?

He : Kapil Phadke. & urs?

She : pehle Neha tha but ab Lovely

He : ab Lovely kyo?

She : kyuki,me Lovely ho gyi yar naam tera Phadke!!

*this time the girl gets blocked*

18- Extremely Funny :

A Little boy was doing his maths homework & saying: 2+5, the son of a bitch is 7. 3+6, the son of a bitch is 9
His Mom: What are you doing?
…
Boy: I’m doing maths homework
Mom: this is how your teacher taught you?
Boy: Yes
Infuriated, Mom asked the teacher the next day- ‘What are you teaching my son in maths?’
Teacher: Right now, we are learning addition.
Mom: you teaching them to say 2+ 2, the Son of a bitch is 4?
Teacher after laughing: What I taught them was, 2+2, the sum of which is 4

19- Purani soch:-Karo ya Maro.

Nayi soch:-Marne se Phle kuch karo!
Ekdam Nai soch:- Jab tak kuch kar
nahi lete maro mat!
Hamari Soch:-Koi Bataega Sala
karna kya hai?

20- Teacher: Which is the closest planet to the sun??

Student: Wait.

Teacher: What wait, tell me now.

Student: Bata raha hu na. मर क्यू रही hai?

Teacher: Correct.

21- Market Me Nai Bimari Aayi Hai……

Doctor-how are you feeling?
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Me- I am feeling lonely with angel neha and 72 others….

22- This Is For My Ex. . .

Tuje Kya Laga,Tu Muje Chor Kar Chalejaegi Tho Main Marr Jaunga

Ghantaaaa

Ladki Hai Tu,
Oxygen Nahi

23- Me- 3G ki speed nahi aa rahi h..?

Call centre- Kaunsa handset use kar
rahe h?

Me- Iphone 5.

CallCentr- Apple ka iphone..??

Me- Nhi, Amrood ka. :p 

24- *After exam*

Mom: Paper kaisa tha?

Me: Patlaa tha, white colour ka!

*tight slap on face* :p 

25- Aaj mein 2 kasam khata hu

1. Kisi parayi ladki ko gandi nazro se nahi dekhunga.
..
…
….
…
…
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2. Mein kisi bi ladki ko parayi ni samjhunga.

26- Girl : doctor sahab mai bhut gori hu sundar hu aur meri skin b kafi sensitive hai ..

mai kya lagakr soya kru

Doctor: darvaje me KUNDI……

27- 1 din ‘sunny leon’ maar gayi

uski kabr par ‘IMRAAN HASMIi’ aaya aur
jor-2 se hasne lga

logo ne puchha aap haas kyu rahe ho.
To usne kaha
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kameeni phli bar akeli soyii hai.

28- Accountancy fact:

What is the difference between Liability & Asset?
A drunk friend is liability
But
A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset…. :p 

29- Economics is not that difficult if we have the right examples.

Interviewer: What is Recession?
Candidate: When “Wine & Women” get replaced by “Water & Wife”,
that critical phase of life is called Recession!! :p 

30- CA ki wife:

Suniye ji, Yeh Inflation kya hai?

CA:
Pehle tu 36-24-36 thi
Ab tu 48-40-48 hai !

Ab tere pass sab kuch pehle se jyada hai, phir bhi Teri value pahle se kam hai.
YAHI INFLATION HAI. :p

31- Me washing my car

Aunty: Kyu beta kya kr rahe ho gaadi dho rahe ho.

ME: Nahi aunty paani de raha hu kya pata kl subah tak bus ban jaaye.

32- *Killing English*

.

Pappu:- “Hey, Fruit walay Baba, give me some Potatoes fever. . .

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Fruit wala: Oo mere bhai ye ‘Potatoes Fever’ kya hota hai? . .

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Pappu:- Oo Maye Gaad, You Literacy People, Potatoes Fever means

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“Aaloo Bukhara!”

33- Husband – Darling tum bhi gori ho aur mai bhi gora hu to fir hamara bachha kaise kala hua?

wife – Oho jaanu tum bhi hot mai bhi hot isiliye hamara baccha jal gaya

34- Teacher – Pappu ek story sunao with moral

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Pappu – Maine usko phone kiya wo so rahi thi.
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Phir usne mujhe phone kiya main so raha tha
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Moral- Jaisi karni wsi bharni.

35- TEACHER: – Btao ek doctor or ek engineer me kya difference hai ?

STUDENT: – Sir dono main ek difference hai ki doctor ek bar me sirf 1 admi ki jan le sakta hai or engineer ek bar main hajaron admi ki.

36- Teacher asked question 2 student;

Formula of water?
Student replied :- H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O

coz previous day teacher told them that formula of water is H2O

Teacher socked,student ROCKED

37- Teacher Sonu Se – Tumme se itni badbu kyu aa rhi h ..nahakar nhi aate kya

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Sonu – Kya kru MAM ,pani se ellergy h
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Teacher – Kesi ellergy
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Sonu – Shower on krte hi geela ho jata hu

38- To,

The janeman
I LOVE YOU,

SUB- application for love.
Jaan, i beg to say that i am
student of ur heart.I am lonely. I cant live without u. So kindly grant my love.
Ur LOVE

39- Anushka Sharma- Bohot Machhar kaat rahe hain.

Virat Kohli- Goodnight ya All Out?
Anushka Sharma – Goodnight laga do. All out to aap roz hi hote ho.

40- Extra Kameena ßacha!

Son: Papa apki love marrige hai na?

Dad: Haan per tumhen kese pta?

Son: Apki shadi or meri date of birth me
sirf 5 month ka fark hai.

41- Tumhari adao pe mai vari vari,

Wah Wah….
Tumhari adao pe mai vari vari,
Wah Wah….
Dial 139 for railway enquiry…..:)

42- Ek american ne ek indian bache se poocha ..

Tum kitney saal ke ho?

Bachey ne jawab diya: ghar par 14,
school me 12, BUS me 10, Train me 7 aur..
FACEBOOK par 19 year ka hu ji.

43- Wo kehti apne bhaiyyo se,

Mere aashiq ko yu naa peeto..!!
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Badaaa jiddi hai ye saala,
Pehle kutte ki tarah ghaseeto..!!

44- At 3AM:

Man in bed with his wife,
Slides his hand slowly across her shoulders,
Across her waist,
Under her neck,
Under her back,
& suddenly stops..
Wife: Why did u stop?
Man: Remote mil gaya, soja tu!!

45- Kaminapan Dosto ka

Girlfriend hai.. ??
Nahin
Saala Gay

Haan hai Girlfriend
Tharki sala

Kal college ayega.. ??
Haan

Padhaku ki aulaad

Nahin
Saale kabhi toh padh liya kar

Ice cream khilaega..??
Ofcourse
Kyun Bhai, Baap ka paisa hai

Nahin
Bhikhaari saala

Dosti nibhaega ??
Haan
Senti saale devdas

Nahin nibhaunga
Ye hi umeed thi saale dhoke baaz

46- Johny johny..

Yes papa!
Private job.
Yes papa!
Lot of tension..
Yes papa!
Too much work..
Yes papa!
Family life..
No papa!
Bp-sugar..
High papa!
Yearly bonus..
Joke papa!
Monthly pay..
Low papa!
Personal life..
Lost papa!
Weekly off!
ha! ha! ha!

47- Girl ATM pe Pappu se Boli..

Girl : bhaiya mujhe apna balance check karna hai.. Aap meri help kar do plz..

Pappu use ek zor ki laat marta hai aur ladki gir jati hai.
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Pappu: tera balance to bahot kharab hai!!

48- Ladke ne Ladki ko Aankh maari

Ladki: Mai esi wesi ladki nahi hu ..

Ladka: Wo to theek hai par check karna hamara Farz banta hai!!

49- *Shaadi dot com chats*

Boy – khana bana leti ho
Girl – nahi
Boy – aur kuch bana leti ho?
Girl – haan selfie lete time mu bana leti hu!!

50- Police: Oye, tune Papita Bechne wali ko kiss kyon kiya??

Santa: Sir, main bhi kya karta wo itni der se mere ghar ke bahar chilla rahi thi,
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PAPPI-TE LE LO,
PAPPI-TE LE LO..!